Escaped Edinburgh for a day and winded up wandering the streets of Glasgow with two lovely friends. Glasgow Pride Festival was on and the sun was out, it was as if the universe tried to cheer me up. I actually felt content for a few hours.
And sitting on my sofa back in the flat that night, with a cup of tea, talking to him, I felt closer to OK than I have been in a while.
Don't get me wrong, I think that the real hard part has only just begun. The breakdown is still ongoing and the re-build hasn't gotten my emotional planning permission yet. But the stone is rolling and there is no going back, no wishing it was different (I don't want to wish my life away) and the time to pack is getting ever closer.
Holy shit I'm terrified. What the hell am I meant to do with my life? (Funny. I asked myself this months back, I guess now at least I'm doing something. Without him, but for me.)
twice this month i left my city for the day. Det är så himla bra att byta miljö ibland. Säger dom.
ReplyDeleteVad pratar ni om i soffan?
<3
Det behovdes. Men jaklar vad problemen kan sla nar man kommer tillbaka.
DeleteLIVET, te, min hals som gor ont, vad han ska gora med lagenheten, hur han ska skeppa over mina bocker och mitt liv i lador genom sitt jobb. Varldens mest vuxna break-up. Usch.