You turned around to me and reminded me that Friday was coming up. Because I'm always excited about Fridays, about the start of the weekend and that feeling you get when you leave the office on a Friday afternoon.
What you don't seem to understand, or perhaps what you don't want to understand, is that that person you think of, the girl who would smile brightly and get excited about the Friday night, is gone.
She disappeared that morning when you sat down with a sigh and opened up your heart, when you let all your worries about the future spill out.
She's gone. I cannot muster up any excitement, cannot seem to feel happy in spite of the future not being all doom and gloom.
And you need to realize this, you need to understand that you hurt me to the point that you changed me. I know it's horrible hurting someone you love, no one wants to be the cause of tears. But you can't shy away from this. I AM hurting, and part of me hope that when I'm gone you will cry as much as I have cried in the last week.
That girl who got excited about Fridays is gone.
I's sure I will find back to that happiness again, and I am sure excitement will find me, but you will not be involved. You had that girl. You had ME. I looked forward to the weekend because it involved sleep-ins with you, glasses of wine, time to talk and stay up late. But that is gone now and that person is locked away deep within me. Maybe someone else will lure her out, maybe other kind eyes and soft hands can revive that person I was who got excited about the little things.
But not you.
And I can't let you miss what you gave up voluntarily.
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