They say that when God closes a door he opens a window.
Well. I don't believe in God. I don't believe anyone closed that fricking door but me. So here I am, not trying to find the open window but knocking down a whole damn wall. Changing everything. Some people say I'm brave but I feel scared as hell and a little bit foolish.
Sunday is the kind of day when I think about my failures and death. Angst and my broken heart. Lost loves and my student loan.... You know, that kind of cheerful stuff. It used to be a day of all day cuddling on the sofa, a roast and general smug-couple quality time. In all fairness this new life is a lot healthier. Less pork crackling, more yoga. (woo-fucking-whoo).
I don't know if I'm brave or foolish, I don't even know where I will live in a months time. Hell, maybe I'll move to Argentina and live of red wine and take myself a cowboy-lover. Maybe I decide to grow up and act my age. Right now I just want to turn my brain off, forget about my feelings and soak in a tub of gin.
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