Translating my CV from English into Swedish makes me realize how long it has been since I first left this country. Nearly 7 years in Scotland. 5 flats, 3 boyfriends, several jobs, 1 degree and many tears and laughs later I find myself here. Back home in my parents kitchen (I'm damn lucky they're the kind of parents who happily mix he g&t's and pay for me to hang out in Berlin), where it all began.
I guess people might wonder why I decided to leave, it probably seems like a rushed decision to pack up and move across the North Sea.
It wasn't.
I always knew that if me and him broke up I would need to leave in order to get over him, in order not to sink in to the darkness and drink myself into oblivion. My previous breakups were never this hard, I made the decision to leave those men (boys). I was happy to. I guess a way to explain it is that my last breakup song was "Dog days are over" by Florence and the machine, while now "Shake it out" might describe me better. (describe where I am NOW that is. Before it would have been some kind of depressing 90's mutant of a tearjerker tune).
So I left.
I was sick of the rain, of the rubbish in the streets, of the lack of jobs and the rate of pay.
Sweden is like a safe bubble, nothing can touch me here. And once I'm strong enough I will venture back out into the real world.
But tonight I'm drinking wine in my garden with my oldest friend. And life could be a hell of a lot worse.
åh kram. hjärtesorg-kram. Jag är hemma hos mina föräldrar den här helgen och känner mig lite mindre ensam än i köpenhamn där han finns överallt, vad jag än gör.
ReplyDeleteDet ar sa forbannat jobbigt att se honom i allt. Da ar det battre har hemma dar jag kan glomma bort honom. Da och da slar det till och gor ont och da gar jag ut och stirrar ut i tradgarden tills pulsen atergar till normal takt. Kram tillbaka!
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