I got lost in a sunny city for a few days.
It is becoming a bit of a morning routine to wake up and wonder which country/city I am in. Once I manage to figure it out I make coffee and drink it slowly, taking stock of my emotional state, judging my stability with every sip while twisting my hair around my fingers.
I spoke to him for ages today and throughout the whole conversation we both smiled (Skype is a wonderful thing). I'm not sure this whole smiling thing is good.
Being loved is such a drug and I crave it more than I crave anything else.
And I love him, I still do. I don't know just how I love him, or if loving him automatically means wanting to be with him.
I just know there is nothing I can do about this feeling.
So I guess I have to get lost in more sunny cities, guess I have to focus on me, and see if this feeling fades away eventually.
I just can't turn it off.
Jag ler och skrattar mot honom automatiskt varje gång jag ser honom och jag vet inte riktigt hur jag ska bete mig. Och ja, jag älskar honom och väntar på att det ska "fade out". men tills dess så gör det ont att inte le varje gång vi tittar varandra i ögonen..
ReplyDeletePrecis sa, det gar pa automatik. Och jag kan inte gjalpa det, jag ler med hela kroppen nar jag ser honom. Och ont gor det.
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