I spoke to him twice last night. A bad phone call and a better Skype call.
The distance makes it easier for me to see him clearly, to see his flaws as well as his good sides. It also makes it harder to for me to trust a word he's saying.
But I think the distance is a good thing. The lines becomes clearer and the feelings cooler. When you haven't got that constant oxytocin rush of being physically close it's easier to look at a realtionship with clearer eyes.
And truth is I don't miss him half as much as I miss my friends anymore. I don't miss being in that relationship. What I miss is his voice, his touch, his body next to mine at night. The comfort of his arms when I'm upset or lost, the light in his eyes when I make him laugh.
It will take some time to stop missing that, but I know that too shall pass. It always does. Someone else's eyes will light up at the sigh of me and someone else will have the arms to comfort me.
I know I want his friendship. I want to be able to sit down with him over a glass of wine in a few years time and feel like I can tell him everything about my life. I want him to meet my future loves, be a part of my life.
We were always good together. I hope we can be good together as friends as well. It might be naive to hope for that kind of friendship, but naivety is all I've got to hope for at the moment.
The distance makes it easier for me to see him clearly, to see his flaws as well as his good sides. It also makes it harder to for me to trust a word he's saying.
But I think the distance is a good thing. The lines becomes clearer and the feelings cooler. When you haven't got that constant oxytocin rush of being physically close it's easier to look at a realtionship with clearer eyes.
And truth is I don't miss him half as much as I miss my friends anymore. I don't miss being in that relationship. What I miss is his voice, his touch, his body next to mine at night. The comfort of his arms when I'm upset or lost, the light in his eyes when I make him laugh.
It will take some time to stop missing that, but I know that too shall pass. It always does. Someone else's eyes will light up at the sigh of me and someone else will have the arms to comfort me.
I know I want his friendship. I want to be able to sit down with him over a glass of wine in a few years time and feel like I can tell him everything about my life. I want him to meet my future loves, be a part of my life.
We were always good together. I hope we can be good together as friends as well. It might be naive to hope for that kind of friendship, but naivety is all I've got to hope for at the moment.
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