I am guided by this birthmark on my skin

Berlin in the summer is like a massive playground and although I knew he was returning to the UK and our empty flat I couldn't cry. It was too sunny, I drank too much beer and I had too many thoughts of what this city might be like once the summer ends and the 'real' life starts back up.
Is this where I am meant to be? Is this where I should have my boxes shipped, is this where I will feel happy again?
Happiness eludes me, it's like I'm empty. Maybe because there is a massive void where my love for him used to be, an emptiness. Not having somebody to love is heartbreaking (Freddie Mercury was right all along) and such an unfamiliar feeling after years and years of being a girlfriend.
I'm empty. Not even his voice makes me feel anything, not even sadness. Maybe that's a good thing. But I miss my feelings. I miss looking myself in the mirror and seeing light behind my eyes.