Focus, for Christ's sake

When other people talk about their boyfriends I can feel a stab of pain. Maybe jealousy. I don't want to feel it but somehow it's like I'm excluded from this club of happy people, a club I used to rule and now I'm cast out.
All I can do is send my CV to every job available in my newly chosen cities, hope for money, friendship and love and for adventures which will make these last few months worthwhile. I've been home for 2 weeks now, single for a month and a half, and I'm only just starting to feel strong enough to smile.