"The age of anguish is over"

"I love that we can do this"
He said as we rounded up our Skype conversation. I smiled in agreement and he continued:
"As long as you're ok with it, I really don't want to cause you anguish. More anguish I mean..."

You know those moments when you hear yourself say something and in that very moment it's like a light has been switched on? An aha-moment I suppose? It's an odd sensation, almost like an out of body experience, or like you're your own therapist.

"Well, darling, I think the age of anguish is over. It's time for progress now. Repair and renewal."
And I smiled again. As I said it I realised it was true. The anguish, at least the one related to my broken heart, is over. We spoke for half an hour and I never once felt like my stomach was about to turn into ice, or like my face would crumble and leave me crying. I felt calm. The sight and sound of him made me feel happy,  but more because I can really see us being friends once this whole thing has passed.
But I felt safer in myself than I have in a long time.

The age of anguish IS over. It's time to heal, without him. I will most likely have days when I feel like calling him, when I miss him and feel sad. But at least I have had this one moment of clarity, my aha-moment.
It's starting to happen. The whole healing thing everyone tells you about..
'Bout bloody time too.